The Secret to Having an Amazing Marriage

Wendy (my magnificent wife, life partner, lover, mother to my beautiful son, and so many other wonderful things to so many other people) and I are celebrating 15 years of marriage today. They have been amazing. Awesome as they have been, I still think we’re only just getting warmed up for the next few decades of our time on earth together.

Wendy and I have talked many times about the mystery of the awesomeness of our relationship. Here is what I have observed in our relationship that people in less-successful relationships do not have.

Wendy and I got married because we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.

While everyone who has gotten married, is getting married, has gotten divorced or is in the process of getting divorced will say that they got married for exactly the same reason as Wendy and me, I respectfully disagree. Many people marry a person out of fears such as the following:

1. I’m afraid I can’t do any better than this person.
2. I’m afraid I don’t deserve anyone better than this.
3. I’m afraid I won’t have children if I don’t marry this person right now.
4. I’m afraid to experience love from another person that is different from (actually better than) the way I experienced it from my own parents [usually the parent of a gender different from your own].
5. I’m afraid to call off the wedding because of what others will think.
6. I’m afraid I can’t imagine anyone better for me.
7. I’m afraid of being abandoned, abused, alone, etc.
8. I’m afraid of not being married by such and such an age.
9. I’m afraid I won’t be able to survive without being married to someone (at least this is someone).
10. I’m afraid I won’t be able to find someone else who is a better match for me.

By the time we married, I was sure that I was not marrying Wendy for any of these reasons. I was marrying Wendy because I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, getting to know her better and better, getting to know myself better and better by being with her. I wanted to grow with her in love, wisdom and understanding. I wanted to share my life with her and spend as many years on this planet with her as I could.

I’ve been blessed with 15 years so far, and I pray every single day within my heart for many, many more years for us to become more and more the people God is creating and calling us to be. I love her more and more every day. That’s the great thing about Love-Real Love is always expanding, growing stronger, becoming more powerful. I wish the very same love for you in your lives, wherever you are at on your journey.

Share on Facebook

Popularity: 9% [?]