How often have we said, “What a nice person!”? How much have we wanted that affirmation for ourselves? There have been times in my life that I wanted other people to think I was “nice,” regardless of whether I actually was nice or not.

I don’t feel this way anymore. Honestly, I would love to see the word “nice” disappear from use by all people for all time. It’s time for us to let this word go forever.

Nice is not who we are called be. We are called to be who we really are, and I guarantee that nice is not one of those things.

Here’s how I see nice people. If you either see yourself as a nice person or want others to see you as a nice person, you may not like what follows. So in case you are wondering, I’m definitely not going to be nice to nice people and those who like nice people here!

1. Nice people are pushovers.
2. Nice people are doormats.
3. Nice people do not ask for what they want.
4. Nice people do not negotiate for what they want.
5. Nice people do not tell the truth out of a fear.
6. Nice people care way too much about what others think of them.
7. Nice people have way too much patience with the status quo.
8. Nice people sacrifice themselves and their own truth upon the altar of social conformity with the creed of “I’m not good enough” playing like a looped recording in their brains.
9. Nice people don’t rock the boat.
10. Nice people don’t do interventions.
11. Nice people let bullies knock people down grind them into the dust.
12. Nice people would rather allow themselves to be ground into the dust than stand up for what is good, right, and true.
13. Nice people are afraid of their own power.
14. Nice people avoid the necessary conflict that occurs between compassion and injustice.

You may think I’m not being nice in being so tough on niceness and nice people. That’s very perceptive of you. Having suffered from an addiction to niceness for way too long, I’m a little passionate about setting people free from this particular prison.

So if you are a parent, stop telling your kids to be nice! Encourage them to be who they really are and do what they really want to do! Give them the freedom to say “No!” even as you continue to be the boss. Teach your kids to negotiate by negotiating for what you want!  

Stop playing the tape in your brain that says certain things are not nice. The world doesn’t need nice right now. The world needs the truth expressed with as much love and compassion as possible. And the truth cannot be expressed from a place of niceness. It can only be expressed from a solid foundation of spiritual empowerment.

We have the problems we are currently having as a species for two fundamental reasons:

1. Most people are afraid to tell the truth.

2. Most people are afraid to hear the truth.

This is why it is so critical that we banish niceness from the face of the earth as soon as possible. We need to be bold in speaking the truth from our perspective. We need to be desirous of listening to the truth from all of the sources of truth in our lives. When we have released these fears around speaking and listening to the truth, we will have the world that the prophets and sages have spoken of for millennia.

Go forth and release your fear! Speak your truth with bold compassion, and listen for the truth in everyone and everything you encounter!

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