Bill Frase Online » clarity http://www.billfrase.com The Official Place for Everything Associated with Bill Frase Sun, 04 Mar 2012 09:22:55 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Why Listen? http://www.billfrase.com/2010/05/23/why-listen/ http://www.billfrase.com/2010/05/23/why-listen/#comments Sun, 23 May 2010 05:52:14 +0000 Bill Frase http://www.spiritualdynamicscoaching.com/?p=295

Listening is one of the most important skills to develop when it comes to the quality of our lives. This is because the quality of our lives depends upon the quality of our relationships. And the quality of our relationships is a direct function of how well we listen. How well are we listening to other people? To our bodies? To God? To our hearts? To the circumstances of our lives? To the signs and symbols available for interpretation in of our waking and our dreaming?

Listening does not mean judging. It is not about winning. Listening is not about being right or coming up with great answers or witty replies. It is not about control, domination, fear, or haste. It is not about projecting our perspective onto someone else. Listening is a humble act where we do not assume to know or understand. It is an act where we allow the “other” (or our own heart) to speak to us so that we may experience greater harmony. It is the key to giving what is needed rather than what we think is required. It is a true act of generosity because we are giving our full time and attention.

True listening requires an open heart. To the extent that our hearts are open, we are capable of really listening. And when we really listen, love flows for the enjoyment of all.

I recently jumped to some incorrect conclusions with someone. She asked me a question, and I assumed that she was asking me that question for one reason, and – believing that that was the case - I  became angry and upset. Honestly, I responded in a way that I am less-than-proud-of.
Within a couple of days (yeah, I know, I’m really quick when it comes to this kind fo stuff) I realized my error and humbly and profusely apologized for my rude behavior. The person was very kind and generous in her response to me. Because I am highly intuitive, I thought I “knew” what was going on with the other person. What I failed to see in the moment of my anger and frustration, was that I was not clear emotionally. And if one is not clear emotionally, one’s intuitive capabilities are not available. I made an assumption based on my negative emotions, and taking that assumption seriously casue me to make a mistake. And while I would have preferred to have not made the mistake in the first place, I did get to experience the forgiveness, kindness, and generosity of another person that I would have otherwise missed out on.
May we create time and space in our lives to really listen, not allowing ourselves to be satisfied with our assumptions, projections, and the superficialities of of any circumstance, no matter how much we think we know.
]]> http://www.billfrase.com/2010/05/23/why-listen/feed/ 2 Fear and Fearlessness http://www.billfrase.com/2010/05/19/fear-and-fearlessness/ http://www.billfrase.com/2010/05/19/fear-and-fearlessness/#comments Wed, 19 May 2010 08:54:28 +0000 Bill Frase http://www.spiritualdynamicscoaching.com/?p=236

I recently had an interesting conversation with a gentleman about fear. This man shared with me some of his thoughts on fear. He had been taught that being fearless (literally unafraid) would get him killed. He happens to work in law enforcement and has received a lot of training from many people over the years on how to stay alive and not get dead.

Every single person had taught him that being unafraid would get him killed very quickly. He took this advice to heart and decided to be afraid in going about his law enforcement work.

He shared with me a story of recently transferring a prisoner who had received a life sentence. The man was in the back of his car, and asked for one last thing before being taken to prison, Kentucky Fried Chicken. The officer, who knew that doing this could cost him his job and even get him killed, considered the request. He granted the man with a life sentence his wish. He took him to KFC and bought him a two piece meal, standing ready for when this man’s friends came into the store to kill him. He had the man hurry up and finish the chicken and get back into the car for the rest of the trip to prison.

This cop was terrified during this whole story. He was afraid of being shot. He was afraid of losing his job should what he did become known. He had been taught that his terror was what was going to keep him alive.

What if none of this was necessary? What if he could have been fearless in this circumstance? What could have been different?

Here’s what I know for sure.

If this man was fearless, he could have known what this man’s true intentions were: to set a trap to make a break for freedom, or to have food that reminded him of the joy and freedom of being a kid again).

If this man was fearless, he could have been at peace at KFC and really soaked in the wonderful compassion of what he offered this man out of the generosity of his real and true heart. He could have taken his time, sensed very clearly whether there were any threats, and allowed this man to heat his chicken and really savor the moment.

People think that their fears keep them safe. Wrong! Our fears keep us in fear and attract the very circumstances that cause us to feel fear and react out of that fear.

Robert Frost wrote, “There’s nothing I’m afraid of like scared people.” I know why he said it. It’s time for each and every one of us to release every fear we carry around to keep ourselves safe, even the fear of scared people!

]]> http://www.billfrase.com/2010/05/19/fear-and-fearlessness/feed/ 4