This post is for people who have wanted to receive love from a particular person in a particular way at a particular time.

For example, there have been times in my life when I wanted someone to support who I was being and what I was doing at a particular time. Sometimes the other person made it abundantly clear that it wasn’t okay for me to be myself or to do what I wanted to do in that moment. For some reason this person was not able to give me the love, acceptance, and support that I craved at  that time.

As I remember these moments from my past, I can recognize that a couple of things were going on.

In those moments in the past, I decided that I was going to lower my expectations for love. I was going to try to change who I really was and what I really wanted. I hoped that this would allow me to get more love the next time around from those people or other people. In essence, I allowed a layer of defense to form over my heart to protect myself from getting hurt in the future. And I did this again and again as I accepted each interpretation of my lovability to act as a reflection of my actual worth. These deposits accumulated around my heart like a wall, forming layers over a period of years. As I remembered this process that I had allowed to happen, I realized that I had chosen to believe that this was my only way to experience the feelings I wanted to feel. Oh, how wrong I was!

I also remembered that all around me in each and every one of those moments was an infinite field or sea of of Love that was always available and ready to give me the sense of love and belonging I so desired. But in the narrowness or specificity of my desire for love from particular people at particular times, this vast ocean of Love was as if it did not exist. I was a person who was rich in love but believed I was poor. I had all of the food I could want at my fingertips, and yet I was going hungry. I felt thirsty even though there was wonderful freshwater raining down upon my head all of the time.

I am so thankful that I have realized that I do live in a vast sea of Love, always ready and willing to do its thing whenever I let it in. How do I know this? For over a decade, whenever I have truly desired for this love to come into my life, it has. I have never been disappointed when I have asked. Never. It has always come, and I have felt its coming, sometimes like a wave and sometimes like a flame, but always it has come to me.

May we all become people who let Love in and allow it to have its way with us. May we let Love flow, dissolving and carrying away our dead, hard, and dry defenses. As it does this work, it also gives us and all we touch new life. When you let this Power of Love flow, the walls will come down, and there will eventually be nothing to stop you from giving and receiving love just as the skies, the rivers, and the seas abundantly share the water that makes life on earth possible.

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Yesterday I had a conversation with a gentleman about his adult daughter. From the outside, this woman is a successful and influential member of society. But behind the scenes her life is falling apart. Based on what this man told me, this lady is very close to experiencing some extremely tough times because she has not changed her approach to her internal struggles.

As he told me about the situation with his adult daughter, he said, “She’ll never change.” I suggested that he take the perspective that she will likely change her approach to life. I have found life to be an excellent and patient teacher.

My heart went out to this man, because it was clear that he loved his daughter, and yet he had this limiting belief about his daughter’s ability to change her perspective. 

All we have to do to change our perspective is let go of our current one. Since most people identify with their perspectives, they tend to see letting go of their point of view as being akin to dying. And yet dying to what imprisons us is absolutely necessary if we are going to step into a really juicy life.

This frustrated father spoke of this change in perspective as if it was immutable. Nothing is immutable. As it was said in the Matrix Revolutions movie by the Oracle and Agent Smith, “Everything that has a beginning, has an end, Neo.”

Given this fundamental truth, it surprises me how easily people throw around words like “always” and “never.” Sometimes part of me wants to say to people who proclaim such things, “Who died and made you God?” Usually, I do pretty well in coming off a bit kinder than that. I tend to be more compassionate because whenever people use words like “always” and “never,” they are not expressing a truth. They are speaking from frustration. They don’t understand that in holding onto such things and expressing them, they are actually resisting circumstances and therefore contributing to the continuation of those circumstances as they are because of their resistance to them. Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.” How true indeed!

Every time you say, think, or hear the words “never” or “always,” know that those statements are not about reality. They are only perceptions. they may be true; they may not be true. The truth is that the only way to ever know is to experience the fullness of eternity. And since eternity, by its very definition is endless, we’re going to have some challenges supporting any hypothesis that is based upon “never” or “always.”

Just because something is perceived does not make it real. Please take a good look at the image on this post. Let me know what you think it is. (If someone has told you what it is, that doesn’t count!) Most people can’t perceive the actual subject of this photo without help. 

I’m pretty confident that most of  you won’t be able to perceive the actual subject of the photo. Come on, prove my limited perspective wrong! Once someone reveals it to you, it’s the only thing you can see when you see the photo. Before that moment, it has no meaning for you. You search and seek to make sense of it, but your brain does not have a framework yet for perceiving it. Kind of like our experience of life, eh?

“Always’ and “never” point to resistance to things as they are. According to the Law of Attraction, like frequencies attract like frequencies. All of the thoughts, emotions, intentions, and body sensations associated with statements that include “never” and “always” will attract the continuation of circumstances that are not wanted! Let us release our resistance to what is so that we can allow what we do want to flow easily and effortlessly into our lives!

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For a very long time, I thought I had to achieve success on my own. I wanted to do it by myself. I didn’t want to share the credit. I didn’t want to have to figure out how to compensate those who helped me along the way. Actually, to be honest, I wanted to keep all of the benefits (particularly the money) for myself. I didn’t want to deal with all of the hassles associated with people.

If you have any thoughts and feelings similar to what I have written above, please, please, please clear that stuff out! That kind of thinking will keep your life small. It will frustrate you and lead to burnout. Without a team of quality people around you, you cannot achieve holistic success. Without friends and colleagues and partners, you will not be able to give what you were created to give to the world.

When I started to attract people who were interested in helping and supporting me in achieving my goals, they started to show me what is really possible. I started to get it. I started to see how their lives were enriched by all of their relationships. I started to see how they were all able to create value for each other. I saw how they actually liked and supported each other. I saw how one person’s success was celebrated by everyone.

Don’t try to go it alone. Let other people be a part of your story. Focus on what you have to offer before focusing on what you can get from others. There’s a lot more to say about this, but I gotta run…to hang with a couple of my teammates!

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